Space Explorers Wasted
by Kith
Summary: Not what you expect


Space Explorers Wasted

By Kith

In Lance's opinion to say Keith was in a foul mood would have been putting it mildly. He was hotter than the volcano Lance's lion was in. "What's wrong Keith?" He asked bluntly catching up to the commander. Unlike the others he wasn't a stickler for protocol.

"Nothing I wanna talk about." Was the snapped reply.

"Well at the moment you look like you could chew up a robeast without your lion."

"Drop it Lance."

"No, come on I'll buy you a drink and we can talk about it."

It took almost dragging the raging commander to the bar and several drinks before the story came out.

Keith and the Princess had been trying unsuccessfully to steal some time alone together and not having any luck.

Lance could sympathize with that, between training in the Lions and Allura's other royal duties she was a busy lady. Keith understood that of course, what he was angry about was when they did get time alone it was always coincidently interrupted by nanny or Coran.

Earlier that day Coran had rushed into the gazebo they were cuddling in going on about a robeast! When both had rushed to the control room, the robeast was a smudge on the screen he had mistaken. "You can't be too careful though." He said somberly. "By the way Princess it's times for your lessons."

The day before Nanny had come upon them in one of vacant rooms high in the castle. 

She said she was going shopping but when asked why she thought she could buy eggs on the tenth story of the castle of lions she turned red and herded the Princess off.

"Barkeep?"' Keith called over the bartender. 

Lance laughed at Keith's use of the title. He was a bit buzzed and calling someone on a space capable world 'barkeep' was funny for some reason

"Don't you have something stronger?" Keith ignored the laughter on the stool next to him, while holding out the glass to the bartender. 

The man came back a few moments later, sporting a glass with a liquid that smoked heavily. 

"It's from Pollux. Don't ask me to pronounce what it's named." The man joked. 

Keith dipped his head, took the cup, and downed the liquid in one gulp. 

His face twisted in ways Lance hadn't thought possible without Haggar's magic, and he laughed even more heartily at his friend's obvious discomfort.

"Smooth," Keith gasped. "Get me another one, and one for my bigmouthed friend here."

"Maybe it would be better if we mixed it with Aldabarain whiskey?" Lance asked. 

When questioned the bartender admitted he didn't have any of the expensive Earth drink.

The two explorers say glumly for a moment before Lance had an idea. "You know, we could use the mixers in the Voltrina," He suggested. 

"Great idea!" Keith agreed. Together they jogged, and stumbled, back to the castle and into its docking bay. 

The Voltrina was a ship given to Keith by Galaxy Garrison for going above and beyond the call of duty on several occasions.   


Entering the ship, Keith planted himself in the command chair, while Lance fumbled with 'Luna' the ship's computer and onboard AI. 

The device was costly, almost as much as the ship itself, however since `GG' had been footing the bill, the Voltron force, though mainly Lance, had talked Keith into getting all the extras he could.

"I think I've got the right drink. Let me know what you think, ok?"

Keith nodded his consent and Lance walked over with a steaming glass of the Pollux drink cut with whiskey. 

Keith took it, and took a sip. "Not bad," he said finally. 

After faking the correct amount of dying noises and motions Lance nodded. 

"You know, I think I'll stay with straight whiskey," Keith said, holding up a large bottle. 

Lance eyed the emerald liquid, and then agreed to the same. 

Keith got another glass, and handed it to Lance. 

"You know, there's something I don't understand," Lance began, sipping from the single-malt whiskey. "Why don't you and Allura just get married? That'd really put it to Nanny, and you could put it to Allura." He smirked lewdly; tact lost to the drink.

"She's not just the Princess. She's the last living member of the entire royal family."

"So?"

"So I'm not even Arusian, the other high level muckediy mucks would get all upset and that'd cause Allura no end of grief."

"I suppose that could be a problem, it's a shame we can't get a robeast to step on their house."

Keith downed his glass, and filled himself another. "I don't think Allura would approve of Voltron arriving a moment too late and she's one of the legs."

Lance on his second glass as well, downed half of it in one swallow. "No, I suppose not, and even if we got Hunk to agree Voltron would be running in a circle, not impressive."

"Defiantly not." Keith agreed refilling his glass. The two sat in silence for the next bottle before Keith spoke up again. "You know, I think we're beginning to get a little tipsy,"

"Nah," Lance laughed. "We're not tipsy." When Keith looked strangely at his friend, he added: "We're loaded." 

The two Voltron Force members burst out in renewed laughter. 

The laughter continued until they fell out of their chairs. For a moment they stared dumbstruck at each other. The next moment, the laughter resumed, without an attempt to get back in the chairs. 

"Look at us, two drunks!" Keith grunted. "Too drunk to even get back in the chairs!"

"I'll drink to that! To us, Voltron, kegger of the Universe!" 

They fell backwards laughing and spilling booze all over until Keith suddenly sat, mostly, up. "I think the Voltrina needs an overhaul. There's a tap in the engines."

"You're right. I hear it too." Lance agreed listening. " Hey, it's gone! What is the matter with this rust bucket of yours?"

"I have no idea. L...L...Luna, why is our engine tapping?" Keith asked, struggling to get his words straight. 

*The engines are not in use. *

"She's mad at us," Keith concluded. "She's reverted back to computer speech."

"Yeah," Lance announced then after some thought he added, "but that doesn't explain that tapping in the engines."

"Hey, there it is, again!" Keith yelled. 

"What's that tapping, honey?" Lance addressed the AI. 

*That tapping is someone at the door, and I am NOT your honey. *

"Ew! Playing hard to get, huh? I love a challenge!" Lance answered grinning around looking for a camera, while Keith struggled to get to his feet, to open the door. 

"Stop hitting on my computer!" he yelled to his drinking-pal, managing to open the door. 

Hunk and Pidge stood there, and Keith, having lost his grip on the door controls, dropped to the floor. Lance seized by another fit of laughter soon joined him. 

The two upright members of the force looked at each other, then their drunken compatriots, and then back to each other. 

"It's no wonder they're laughing. They're loaded," Pidge said. 

"Nope," Keith interjected. "We passed 'loaded' half an hour ago." 

"Good one!" Lance complimented, he was currently bent over a chair looking for the bottle, when he spotted it he wondered where its friend came from. 

"We were here to see how you were doing, but it appears that it's unnecessary," Hunk said, his voice indicating just what he thought of the two, for not calling him.

"Don't be mad. Grab a glass, and join the fun!" Keith offered, struggling back to the cockpit, much to Lance's amusement his first few attempts at his glass failed. 

"No, thank you. And I suggest you get some sleep," Pidge said, added a good-bye, and left. 

Hunk just stood there, tempted, but followed soon after. 

"Damn, they forgot to close the door," Keith grunted. "I got up last time. Now it's your turn," he said in Lance's general direction.

"Close the door, will ya, sweetheart?" Lance said to the AI. 

*Close your own damned door. *

"Come on, sweetheart. Humor us," Lance begged. 

*Oh, all right! Door closed. Happy now? *

"Very," Keith said. "Now, where did I leave my keys?"

"Keys?" Lance asked. 

"To start the engine," Keith said. 

"Isn't it on your shirt?"

Keith thought about that for a moment or two and then brightened "Right! I forgot!" Keith struggled into the pilot's seat. 

*You are not flying in your condition! *

"No, I won't, MOTHER," Keith grunted, and examined the forward shield control intently. "I can't find the ignition key," he said over his shoulder to his friend. Lance struggled up, and looked at the same panel. 

"She moved it," he concluded. 

"Damn. Luna, ignite engines, please."

*You are NOT flying in your condition. I'll contact the Princess! *

"Hey! You don't play fair!" Lance complained, and then realized something. "Sure, contact her. She's not MY girlfriend!"

"Hey!" Keith jammed his elbow in Lance's side. 

Luna was tiring of this rapidly. Scanning her database, she found something that could help. She released a strong anesthetic gas into the ship, effectively knocking both drunken Voltron Force members out. 

Instead of contacting someone, she let the two drunks sleep out their rush in the Voltrina. She wanted to grin evilly as she thought that not only the hangover would be terrible, but also the uncomfortable position would leave its traces on their bodies. 

Lance opened his eyes, and looked around, dazed and confused. "The Voltrina? What the hell am I doing here? Oh, yeah...I got loaded," He grunted, getting up from the seat. 

"Nope. We got loaded," Keith got up from his seat as well, looking at his friend. "How do you feel?" he asked. 

"Fine, Haggar put a robeast in my skull and its growing, but aside from that..." Lance responded. 

"The main problem is still to come. Luna made good on her threat. She contacted Allura the moment we woke up . . . and she and Nanny are coming down here."

"It's Nanny that scares me," Lance said, "she's mean enough to take out Hunk. Allura's a kitten, at least if you're not dating her" he added in a joke. 

"Ha ha. Funny, pal. I'm going to get it. I can feel it."

The next moment, the door opened, and two people came running inside the Voltrina. Nanny did not looked amused, and Allura seemed . . . much less enthusiastic. 

"Well how are you feeling?" she burst out. 

"Fine . . . " Keith said, unsure. Lance looked at his friend in undisguised sympathy. 

"Good! Then you're fine enough to come with me!" she shouted, and grabbed his arm. She dragged him out of the small ship, leaving Lance and Nanny behind, looking at each other. 


End file.
